one year later....

One year ago today, on my first day of retirement I boarded a plane and  set off on a five week adventure to the South Pacific and Australia.
It was an incredible beginning to my retirement on the heels of an extraordinary send off by the best comms team ever  and an emotional good bye to my friends and colleagues
One year later, not a day goes by that I don't acknowledge how lucky I am to be enjoying retirement in good health and relatively young at 60 years old...still an emerging senior.  I am so very grateful.

I knew that key to this new chapter in my life , I  needed to replicate those dimensions that brought satisfaction and happiness in my work life - purpose, community and structure.  Day by day, these key pillars are being redefined  and my life is richer and amazing because of it.

Often when one envisions retirement it is the great travel adventures that you think will define your new life.  I don't think that is true.. No more than vacations defined your happiness when you worked. Vacations are wonderful, amazing and worthwhile.  Travel has always been a big part of my life and will hopefully continue to be for many many years to come.  I have had many travel adventures big and small over the past year and loved every moment and have many more planned.

But I think the great adventure of retirement  is this new freedom and choice.  For me...to try new things, to help others in new ways, to learn new things  to meet new people and  to create new space for my long lasting cherished relationships and friendships - all of this has  fuel charged my life.

Last week I had the  privilege of listening to the great scientist, feminist and conservationist Jane Goodall.  It was an amazing opportunity to glimpse into her extraordinary spirit and vitality.  She shared a simple structure that she uses to help define her life- APE -Animals, People and the Environment.  She believes if everyone does something to help these three elements - all of us will be better off.  I am going to try and incorporate this into my life.
She was asked why at 84 years old she was not slowing down  ( this year she had 300 speaking engagements around the world).  Her response was astute -  ' The end of my life is much closer than ever, I have much to do, I feel I have to speed up not slow down'
You go girl...

Instagram - pictureretirement - April 22, 2018

Embracing Instagram was on my retirement  to do list however I struggled to discover a unique voice or perspective for this additional social media account.

I know it is primarily a visual channel so I thought I would focus on my developing photography skills and my interest in documenting and commenting on retirement and aging.   Hence....  PictureRetirement....

So it begins....

Retirement - six months down the road... April 5, 2018

Six months ago was my first day of retirement. I got on a plane, then boarded a ship and sailed to the other side of the world. When I returned five weeks later, retirement and all of its possibilities lay ahead of me. I was standing at the junction of my old life and new life. 
For my first six months, I had made a few rules - no work and  no new commitments.  I wanted to give myself a few months off.   Despite my rules,  I have been busy.  I did have a few things on my To Do list - 55 to be exact and have done all but 5.  I have had many wonderful opportunities with friends and  time away with friends - time in Muskoka, Ben Miller, Toronto.


What I have learned in my first six months

Reset
Five weeks away immediately after I retired - off the grid created the reset that I needed between old life and new life.

Relaxed
 I didn't realize the fatigue of day to day work.  I never felt stressed when I worked but since I have stepped away, I have felt waves of relaxation come over me.  It is a great feeling

Mental Exhaustion 
I was unaware of the intellectual exhaustion of my work .   It was rare that I wanted to take on an activity in the evening that required too much thinking   Now I can be taking an online class or language class starting at 10pm.  My days have become longer.  (Although I don't get up as early - I sleep in until  7am instead of the grind of waking up at 530 or 6 am everyday)  I definitely do not miss 7 am meetings.

Other options for work
Eventhough I made a promise not to work during the first six months, I did a bit of consulting. (turned down most requests but did work to help a smaller agency build capacity for communications and public relations.)  It was/is gratifying work.   I definitely will be open to similar opportunities.

Rediscover Reading
I have rediscovered reading and how much I love it.  There was so little time in my life for recreational reading.  Now there is space.  I have a new library card and I am using it.   I now have a list in my purse of books I want to read- right now it has 67 titles on it.

Learning 
I love my Masterclass courses.  Brilliant leaders in their fields sharing insights and perspective.  I have completed two - James Patterson's writing course and Annie Leibovitz Photography. 37 lessons in total.  Loved them both but Annie Leibovitz was awesome.  So brilliant, so cool.


Senior Life is Not for me
There is a lot of older people around during the day.  Everywhere I go.   I am not used to such a narrow demographic.  I had originally thought that I might join some senior based activities  but after an initial foray - I don't think so.  For me, I want to engage in  activities with people of all different ages.  This was a big learning for me and certainly has made me rethink what I want to do.

Snowbird

I definitely don't want to spend the entire winter in Canada. Usually we go down south for a week or two every winter, but this year with just getting home from Australia we didn't go south.  My five weeks of South Pacific sunshine was not helpful to me in cold snowy January. Although it was great not to have to go out on the extreme days, I need a break from winter.

Staying Fit

More time for my yoga practice has been a huge benefit.  On nice days I walk Springbank Park.  I am looking forward to the Southwest Community Centre to open in September to take advantage of some further opportunities.


I am definitely down the road of my "New Life".  I have set up my business, organized  three trips for 2018 and a 4 week trip to Portugal for early 2019.  I am trying to learn Portuguese.   I am super excited to start a new volunteer opportunity at Salthaven Wildlife Rehabilitation Centre.  I have a few new projects that I am contemplating. 


I bring with me from my "Old Life" -My Work Life the skills and experiences that I was so fortunate to have built over my career.   But most importantly, I bring  my friends from work that I miss seeing everyday but I am bringing  them along the road with me to my "New Life"

I am excited to see what the next six months bring.

Mondays - lots to discover - March 19

For the past 17 years, Andy has worked Saturdays.  Our "weekends" together have been restricted to Sundays. 

Now that I have retired, we have developed a new rhythm to our week.   On Mondays, instead of doing chores or running errands, we choose to take at least part of the day to discover places in our own city and surrounding region.

We have spent a lot of time planning vacations where we have explored other continents and countries but we have not been very good at learning about the wonderful places that are much closer to home.


Yesterday we went to a Sugar Bush in a nearby village.  We had delicious pancakes in a rough plywood restaurant with gigantic containers of maple syrup scattered on the tables.

I absolutely love Mondays!


What is the most fun?  ....you never know what you will discover driving the back roads.

I want them to know more than she can tell - March 5

My mother is 87 and has dementia.  A few weeks ago, my father made the difficult decision to place her in long term care.  It just became too much for him to care for her even with daily help .  My parents have been married for 62 years. For the first time in all those years, they are no longer living together.

I know this day has been coming for a very long time. All of us have. I am not really sure how much the advanced knowledge helps you cope.

I  focus on what makes me grateful.  I am thankful for the many years that my Dad looked after my Mom as best he could.  How he so stoically believed that it was his responsibility to look after her. I am grateful that many years ago when they were still very healthy, my parents had the foresight  to move into a complex that had a range of options from independent apartments, to assisted living  to nursing home care. Today, despite their different care needs they are close together and remain in a community that they know many people.  I am grateful that my Mom, so true to who she is, has handled the transition with grace and a kind heart.   I am thankful for my sisters who help shoulder the ups and downs of my parent's journey.  I am thankful for the staff  that have made my Mom feel welcome.  I am so very grateful that even though my Mom is in the nursing home, my Dad is with her every day.

It breaks my heart to see the two of them struggle to navigate this new situation.  My Mom not understanding why she needs to be in the nursing home.   I find myself torn between being an advocate for my Mom and being empathetic to the seismic shift in both their lives that makes them cling to old habits and routines.  My Dad has started to bring her back to their apartment to watch TV together and to make her lunch and eat together.  I am just not sure if is good for either of them or if they should find new routines.   I want to focus  on making her new room as warm and comfortable as possible,  I think my Dad is struggling with accepting that that her nursing home room is nothing more than a place for her to sleep.  I think he thinks her real home is still with him.

So I try to focus on what I know for sure and  can control.  What I know is the woman that the nursing home staff encounter is not the woman that my Mom once was.  Now she struggles to remember most things.
 I want when they enter my Mom's room to know more about her than she can tell. To maybe connect with her on topics of conversation that she can no longer initiate.  The simple name plate on her door - Donna Clark - is not enough.   I made a bulletin board with a description of my Mom, her life, her interests and her family.  Hopefully when people walk in the room to care for her, they will see much more than an elderly woman who is often confused and struggles to find conversation.

Masterclass - James Patterson -Feb 12, 2018

Masterclass -  February 12, 2018

The premise of the Masterclass series is intriguing.  Experts from a variety of disciplines sharing their knowledge.  Real life experience not just theory being explored. 
 I love this idea and have been following the Masterclass initiative since it launched.  One of my first purchases in retirement was access to these classes.  I was so excited to start and  I have not been disappointed.  
I am halfway through my first course -  Writing with James Patterson.  There are 16 lessons.  Each has a video, a workbook, and an assignment.  A community discussion hub is available to connect with others taking the course.  James Patterson holds office hours when you can interact with him.  I am totally enjoying the course. I am learning a lot and most importantly I have a refreshing new perspective on writing.  I look forward to every lesson.  
Not sure what class I am going to take next maybe photography with Annie Leibovitz, or cooking with Gordon Ramsay or conservation with Dr. Jane Goodall or maybe even singing with Christina Aguilera!!!

The Darkest Hour - January 29

January 30 2018

As I sat in the movie theatre watching this best picture nominated movie, I felt my spirit lighten. 
This is the story of a few days in May 1940, when Europe was falling to Hitler.  The British Army was trapped in France fighting the Germans days before the French surrendered.  Britain was next and the probability of invasion was high.
Winston Churchill was thrust into the role of Prime Minister ( though some would argue he was the architect of that coup)  It was an impossible military situation and politics at home were intense.  There was great pressure among his party to enter into peace negotiations with the Germans.
The movie bears witness to a leader navigating politics and an impossible military situation.  With passion and extraordinary words, Winston Churchill led his nation to the decision to defend what they held dear - their century old values and beliefs that they were not ready to compromise.
In the face of the daily news of today, this movie is a beacon. 
For those British soldiers trapped in France, that story is told in another best picture nominated movie, Dunkirk.

The Third Act - January 22

The Third Act - January 22, 2018

I just turned 60.  I am in my Third Act! 

On average we are living 34 years longer than our great grandparents.  That is really a generation longer.  Our traditional thoughts about age are being redefined including midlife and retirement.  One of those  new definitions is the "Third Act "- ages 60 - 90.

In a play, the third act  pulls everything together - the bits and pieces of the first two acts into a connected whole. The third act is all about meaning.

Boomer 3.0 is another common description of the new reality of age and retirement.  As with everything that the Boomers touch, it is never the same as the generation before.   As we enter retirement it is not the retirement of our parents.  Bowling, bridge  RV camping, golfing - the activities of our parent's retirement are not the norm  now and increasingly declining in popularity.  Downsizing and moving to retirement communities or apartments is not as common.   More and more Boomers are staying in their current homes as long as possible. 

Though physical activity of some kind is a common thread it is no longer the main activity. Instead retired Boomers are working at part time "encore careers" or volunteering  both related to longstanding interests and unrelated to their work before retirement.  Many pursue educational opportunities by taking college and university courses in areas of interest.  The pursuit of creative endeavours is very popular.   Creative expression is a new driver of retirement.

 Instead of the old paradigm of leisure and entertainment, the common thread for this new generation of retirees is the pursuit of meaning, purpose and contributing to community.

I totally understand this new reality.  At 60 and recently retired,  I am still young, healthy and vital and hope to for many years to come.   I want to continue to learn, contribute and be engaged.  I know that I must build purpose, structure and community into my new world.  It is exciting to embrace these new opportunities and activities.   Stay tuned.

Final fifties January 15

January 15, 2018
As I face the final week of my fifties, I am reminded of the beginning of this decade. Andy and I had a joint 50th birthday party.  We decided that it was important to celebrate 50 as our next planned birthday party is  100 years old.  It was held in the party room (basement) of the Old Vic Tavern- friends and family - games, drinking.  It was so much fun.  I am so grateful that so many of those attending our 50th are still in our lives and new friends and family have entered our life.
Sadly, some of those gathered with us 10 years ago, have passed away.

 We were about not only about to enter our fifties but to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary by sailing across the Atlantic visiting Ireland, France and England.
Not too long ago, I went through my treasures from our 50th party, carefully stored in the "treasure chest" including Survivor hints, fake newspapers, tips on how to talk to the British, the famous thong. I was laughing all over again. Now as I face my 60s, I hope that at the end of this decade that I feel as healthy as I do today. I hope that I am still sharing laughs with my friends and that our family continues to expand.

What is a Weekend - I am retired!

"What is a Weekend? "  - I am retired!

My favourite quote from Downton Abbey's  the Dowager Countess  played by Maggie Smith.  An earnest question posed by a member of the aristocracy who had no  knowledge of a "job" or a "weekend" .  

Now that I am retired/ a pensioner/ a member of the "leisure class", I think this is a fitting replacement title for my former "Monday Morning" column.  


Monday morning holds no significance for me any longer.  My long held assumptions about time and schedules are being redefined in retirement.  Many things are being redefined.  It is exciting .






Monday, January 8, 2018

Although I have been retired for two months, it is just this past week that it is beginning to sink in and be real - I AM RETIRED!

At first I was distracted and disconnected.....

Because I left on a five week vacation to the other side of the world the day after I retired, I was distracted.  Distracted by the extraordinary experience of the South Pacific, Australia, and the Great Barrier Reef.  Disconnected due to 23 days at sea totally off the grid and with little to no access for over 38 days.
Upon reflection, it was a great way to kick start my retirement.  It was a bit chaotic wrapping up work at the same time as planning a major vacation but totally worthwhile.  It created a "hard break" from my former routines and habits.  It definitely cut the chord.

And then I was focused on follow up and holiday activities.....

When I returned home, I was busy following up and thanking everyone involved in my retirement celebration events.  I was both overwhelmed and humbled by the extraordinary send off orchestrated by my colleagues.  I will cherish the memories of my last day forever.  Truthfully,  I can never adequately express my gratitude.
I not only finished work, but cleaned out an office and brought home those important mementos of a 37 year career.  I needed to make room for them at home which meant some reorganization and decluttering.
Throughout this time , holiday season was upon us and all of the wonderful activities and traditions with family and friends.

And now it seems real....

It was just this past week that I really began to feel retired - not going back to work after New Years;  reading headlines in the newspaper about hospital issues and not being involved; horrible weather and difficult driving conditions that I didn't have to navigate.

I am grateful for the opportunity to retire - relatively young and healthy. The planning and preparation to retire is over.
I loved my work, the people I worked with and the mission of the hospital that I served.  My work provided purpose/ a sense of service, a sense of community and structure.

Now my job is to discover and build a new chapter of life that provides all those same things.

But first I promised myself a few months of rest and relaxation.